Knitting Musings

Lately I have been wanting to design something, though I am suffering from a distinct lack of inspiration. I've been poring over knitting blogs, magazines, books, and websites and sitting at my desk with pencil and paper in hand, trying desperately to feel inspired.

It just isn't working. I need more.. resources, or something. I don't know what it is. I did discover, after thinking about it rather hard, that I have a thing for knitting accessories. I don't knit sweaters- I surmise, in part, because I am so large that the idea of knitting a sweater for myself is incredibly daunting. On top of this, I really don't know what would fit my body nicely. I know what would fit my ideal body nicely, but me? No idea. So here I am, making myself as many "perfect" pairs of socks as I can (none patterned though I have an itch to make patterned ones, I simply haven't found a yarn I can truly allow myself to be creative with), all the while thinking about making fair isle mittens and drooling over the sheer beauty of Eunny Jang's Blog. What is a girl to do?

Knit lace. If my book would ever get here! I blame my father wholly for this, as I had left three of my dearest knitting books in New York thinking I would be returning for the eating disorder clinic, only to discover that I would have to spend entirely too much money in order to stay there (already scared by the prospect of a summer with people I didn't know, I caved in and cancelled those plans). So now, Knitting On the Edge, Knitting Over the Edge, and A Gathering of Lace are all in New York*, taunting me. I have already asked (no, implored) my father to please send me these three books. I did get 2 packages from him last Saturday- imagine my disappointment when I opened both boxes only to discover that they were mere Christmas presents, not the fountains of inspiration contained in my three beloved books. I have an email from my aunt claiming that he will be sending them, but who knows how long this will take. And before any of you make smart remarks about me borrowing these books from the library- I have already tried! They are not contained in the Great Falls Public Library, and I certainly am not going to spend the $30 per book to purchase another copy of any of them (it gets more tempting each day, though, to buy another Gathering of Lace, every time I see the Frost Flowers & Leaves Shawl that Eunny Jang whipped up. I am simply in love).

What is a girl to do? The 8 knitting books I got for Christmas only served to intensify my desire for these three books. I got A Treasury of Knitting Patterns by Barbara G. Walker, only to discover the very lace pattern used in the shawl I want to make is plastered all over the cover, taunting me. Of course, I could design a shawl of my very own, but why bother, when there is a pattern already so beautifully laid out for me? I lust for sumptuous, shiny, silky lace.

The rainbow socks are losing their appeal. The yarn doesn't really "fade" so much as it stripes in very wide and ungainly rainbow stripes. The finished product will be nice, but not as nice as I would have hoped. They will not be the incredible rainbow masterpieces that I had envisioned. Each stripe is over 3 inches wide! I suppose I will have to break down and just knit striped socks in rainbow colors, but still. Is a rainbow sock yarn so much to ask? I don't think so.

I fell this morning while walking to work. It really really sucked. I have skinned knees and my back is bothering me even more than it was already. Knitting isn't giving me the pleasure it should. I'm lusting after something I can't have, and I am sitting at work with 22 minutes to go and I simply just want to go home, curl up in a big chair (which we don't have) with my knitting. I miss Eco House, and I miss the big chairs, and most of all, I miss my copy of A Gathering of Lace!

*You may wonder why I left some of my favorite books at home. Firstly, there was the fact that those three books would be the ones I would want with me for the summer- then there is the fact that all three are rather large books so it was easier to stomach being without them for a mere 3 weeks than it was to stomach lugging them on the train to Montana and then on the airplane back to New York.